Lily Allen

Please, can somebody enlighten me? What is the point of this tedious little girl? At points tonight, she is so alarmingly off key that she makes Ian Brown sound tuneful. And even if, by some fantastic aural contortion, you can ignore this, then you still have to face the total lack of any musical ingenuity. Live, 'LDN' and 'Smile' are revealed as little more than bad poetry set to music, whilst set closer 'Alky' nicks its melody wholesale from that hugely cutting edge number 'Puppet on a String' - yes, Lily, a 40 year old Eurovision winner. Now shut up and go away.