Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Jack's Mannequin

The Festival Republic tent - Reading's third stage - is packed full of very small teenagers, all jumping up and down on the spot. Unlike with other bands, it would be a huge mistake to read too much into this. These are the teenagers every music lover hates. They know what they like and they will buy it repeatedly. They have no discernment, no critical capacity. In short, they actually know fuck all about music.

There are four girls stood next to me. They are trying to clap in time with the music. They can't even clap in time with one another. That is the kind of musical halfwit that Jack's Mannequin attract.

There are enough Coldplay imitators out there anyway, but rarely can Chris Martin have been ripped off so badly. This isn't a breach of copyright, it is positively defamatory. The music is the kind of tripe you find soundtracking every crappy American teen movie ever made. The guitarist and bass player call themselves 'Raw' and 'Dr J'. They both play Gibson Flying V guitars, thereby making themselves the least credible wielders of such an instrument since Wellington Womble.

I'm going to have to stop here. There just isn't enough vitriol in the world to describe just how bad this band are.


Blogger firesabeautifulsound said...

Really? Did you even LISTEN to the music? Wait, obviously not if you're comparing Jack's to Coldplay. I'm going to have to stop here. There isn't enough vitriol in the world to describe how stupid you ARE.

2:42 am  
Blogger thexsounknown said...

this is pathetic. the lack of thought and intelligence put into this 'review' of the show is overwhelming, and not only that but the grammer and sentence structure is atrocious

also, its one thing to judge the music (even though you tried to compare the sound of jack's to coldplay..., im missing any sort of resemblance whatsoever), but its a completely different thing to judge the listeners as "not knowing fuck about music".

i dont care if this is just a blog. its offensive

4:28 am  
Blogger Ben Ree said...

I don't ever comment on blog posts, but you must be fucking retarded.... no offense to you retards! go listen to U2 you douche nugget!

5:49 am  
Blogger jack said...

Yeeaah, I'm gonna have to agree with all the other comments. This "blog post" was unnecessarily critical without actually stating a thing about Andrew's music. (you mention a select few fans, Band member names, and the guitars they play... right...)
The next time you compare two drastically different bands because they both have piano playing leads (?????) I urge you to listen to the music before commenting.

11:36 am  
Blogger Nicole said...

too bad that andrew mcmahon was on the music scene at about the same time coldplay started. compare jack's mannequin to the likes of ben folds, perhaps. but coldplay? gag me. though i'm sure you are probably laughing and thinking the negative comments mean we don't know "fuck" about music since we disagree with you. i loathe music elitists like you anyway.

9:14 pm  
Blogger Brittany said...

I'll give you my thoughts on this blog once I stop laughing hysterically about the Coldplay part.

9:24 pm  
Blogger Caroline said...

You pathetic little bad taste morons. This was the worst band I have heard in about 25 years, and I was an alternative radio DJ. Get over yourselves. And, BTW, Ben Folds, with or without the Five, is miles better than this rubbish.

12:06 am  
Blogger Brittany said...

Someone obviously hasn't heard Brokencyde.

6:40 pm  

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